Things you can control

things you can control mindfulness peace of mind health

Hey peeps ❤️ I hope you are doing great! Sorry for the lack of posts lately, been busy trying to keep my head above water with all that’s going on – nothing to worry about, all of it is actually just really exciting stuff ?

As you may or may not have seen on my Instagram post, I started thinking a bit more about my mental health lately. In connection to that, I see it as very therapeutic to write about this type of stuff and think it’s important for us all to give it a thought. I’ve realized that complaining about things you can change is stupid, literally pointless. We often feel some type of way and think are helpless – which we sometimes really are, but most of the time we aren’t and can do something about the way we feel. There are simply things we can’t control and then there are things we actually can, but seem to not understand. Here are some things you can control:

1. Who you hang out with

Being around people that constantly make you feel mad, sad or worthless or evoke any type of emotion you don’t consider as pleasant, should simply not be in your life. It’s as simple as that. You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick, right?

2. Your happiness

We have to understand that our own happiness does not depend on anybody else but ourselves. What I mean by that is that when we’re feeling unhappy, we have to do something about it. And this applies to every situation in life, whether that is in a relationship, in our careers  etc. We can’t wait for somebody to come around and save us from our misery – let’s get ourselves out of it? For example, in a relationship, why do you have to wait for the other person to ask you out for dinner? If you feel like going to dinner, why aren’t you the one asking out? If you’re doing work you don’t like, speak up. Change the situation yourself, your happiness is in your own hands.

3. How personally you take things

This one’s a tough one for me. I go all-in when it comes to the people I love, I try to give the best gifts, be an attentive observer, make small gestures and give what people need. Which is all fine, but the problem is that I then don’t understand when they don’t do the same. I really do take it personally when the people I love don’t put as much effort into things as me because then I just feel like they don’t love me as much as I love them. But I have to understand that people are different and not everybody is as expressive as I am, which doesn’t make them love me any less than I love them.

4. How kind you are

People often think that I’m not kind just because I don’t let other people treat me badly. There’s a difference between being kind and being naive. You can still be kind, while standing up for yourself – just because you don’t let people play you, doesn’t mean that you’re a bitch. It means that you’re mature enough to speak up and discuss alternative solutions. If you feel like you’re being treated unfairly, it’s better to get it out right away than holding on to the anger and letting it be the center of your thoughts for an entire day.

5. What you eat

Let’s apply a tech principle here, shall we? It’s all about the GIGO principle here – garbage in, garbage out.

It was hard for me to understand that eating healthy can be something else than chicken & broccoli ?? I completely had this bodybuilding mentality – which was just not sustainable for me personally because I love food too much. So that said, I realized that eating healthy can actually also taste good ? It’s important that we listen to our bodies and give it what it needs (not what we want it to need:P). I will be posting some more about my food soon, then you can follow along.

6. How open-minded you are

It’s easy to stay within your own bubble and do the same things you are used to always doing – but then: don’t judge other people’s bubbles because they feel as confident in their bubble like you do in your own. Don’t jump to conclusions, people have their reasons for doing things. Try to be aware of yourself every now and then to see if you can maybe be more open-minded about something. Be open to whatever it is life brings you – new food, new people, new places etc.

7. Your effort

This one is hard for some of us to understand as well. You can control a lot of things in life by putting effort into them – if you got a bad grade, don’t blame the teacher. The teacher is probably right about giving you that grade (70% of the time haha, the other 30% is some form of subjectivity :PP). But what I mean is that you probably didn’t put enough effort into studying correctly for the exam. The same applies to your friends, for example, if you put effort into your friendship, your friend is most likely going to notice that and also try to be a better friend. Always, always try to up your effort in whatever you’re aspiring to do and the results will show, trust me.

8. How seriously you take life

Life isn’t always about serious matters – life is about having fun, letting loose and enjoying precious moments with people you love. Yeah, sometimes life is an asshole and you feel like you’re in a movie with some of the shit that’s happening to you but in the end, it helps us learn and grow as persons. Don’t take life too serious, it’s not healthy to be so tense – laugh it off and let loose once in a while because stress, my dear, is one son of a bitch.

Thanks for stopping by again & blog to you soon!

Love, M.

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